I wonder if I'm not a Muslim (nauzubillah...)

why am I choosing that title?

it sounds harsh but, that's what popped into my mind suddenly when i commited sins

manusia tak pernah sunyi dari buat silap, always heard people telling these phrase. that's exactly the fact.

sometimes i wonder,in which seconds am I being in a 'pure state'.

nak kata during prayer time, hmm..tgh semayang pon boleh pikir bende lain. tak khusyuk. Aku pun tak tau.

this is too personal to share, but since this is my blog, my space to pour anything that i want, then it's up to me. kadang2, bile period or melayu cakap 'datang bulan', syok tau..

korang laki taktau..best dapat cuti, even for a week, grateful kot dapat rehat jap dari semayang, i can go shopping from morning till evening, tak semayang la katekan.

tapi ye lah, mmg jauh la dari tuhan.

al-mathurat ke ape bende yg aku buat mase aku tak period, everything's gone..terbang..

bole bla la tbe2 pagi2 bangun nak bace mathurat, bangun pon pukul 12 tghari..tak senonoh..mentang2 tak yah semayang subuh.

hmm

pastu, petang, bajet nak qada' bace mathurat lepas asar la..konon..hmmm..babbai mathurat..aku kat gunwarf..lalala..

serabai gile..tu pasal la aku wonder, baru seminggu kot, tuhan kasi can rehat sket, dah tak sedar diri, lupe tuhan, merambu sana sini, tak ingat tuhan, mak bapak, asimen, sume lupe...macam kapir..

agaknya kalaulah aku ni kapir, ape jadi ngan aku pun aku tatau..baru seminggu tak payah semayang, dah gelabah..shopping la, bangun lambat, mandi sehari sekali, melolong2 karaoke kat youtube, ye lah tak yah pikir nak semayang. macam kapir, diorg pedulik ape..bukan pikir nak semayang ke tak, boleh buat suke2 hati...

tah2, kapir pon tau nak manage masa, pukul bape nak study, pukul bape nak buat keje..aku nih, bile semayang cuti, ng asimen2 sume cuti..gilo..

malu arr..bukan bukak aib sendiri, but, saje nak share..sebab aku tau, ramai je mcm ni.. tak sume la..ramai je pompuan2 yg baik2 kat luar sane, tak cam aku..

astaghfirullah...

islam ni cantik sangat, bila islam, hidup jadi teratur.

we wake up in the morning, do our subuh prayer, recite the quran, recite mathurat, pastu jangan tdo..islam doesnt encourage the believers to sleep after subuh, instead of sleeping, go and start your day, do something beneficial, seek knowledge, tidy up your room ke, go jogging, read newspaper, siram pokok bunga ke..sebab waktu pagilah pintu rezeki terbukak.

tapi aku..pas subuh, kalau rajin ngaji ke bace mathurat, tp bile malas aku datang.. tdo dalam telekong...zupp..kul 10 pagi..pastu tak mandi2..melengkar dalam duvet, layan youtube, through iphone(ade mase aku rase nk campak iphone ni kebawah..p/s: rumah aku flat, 2 tingkat)

dah nak zohor baru mandi, tak sarapan, terus makan thari..patutla gemok..makan tak berjadual..patutla otak lembab,skip breakfast..nabi suruh kot breakfast..haih..

Islam dah cantik2 je susun jadual hidup manusia, lepas kite bertebar bekerja, cari rezeki dan selesaikan segala urusan dunia or akhirat kite, die panggil kite balik, suruh jumpe die, waktu zohor. after we had done performing the zohor prayer, bertebar la kite balik tuk selesaikan urusan kita..then die panggil balik..tuk solat asar...

lepas asar, supposedly digalakkan beriadah, tapi aku..pas asar, kalau rajin bace la mathurat ke ngaji, tapi maleh aku datang.. aku tdo..

laiee la lombab otak..adoi..kan islam discourage tdo lepas asar..haih...

bukan setakat tdo lepas asar, santak sampai ke maghrib..buruk lak aih perangai..bile maghrib, terus semayang, mandi pon tak(duduk uk ni laie la den maleh mandi),

ha bile maghrib ni, tibe2 lak baik sket, heran gak, time maghrib tibo2 alim, ngaji la, smyg hajat lah time tu, kadang2 satu juzuk abis lepas waktu magrib tu, nak redeem la katekan..pas subuh, zohor n asar td tak ngaji pas smyg...tp heran gak..tatau nape..pas dah selesai ngaji, tanggal telekong, hah..melalut dah..nak2 lagi bile dah on laptop, online facebook, islamic finder dah alert masuk isyak..buek tatau..heran..

tadi maghrib alim bona..iyo-iyo ngaji, bilo isyak liat...apo kono tah..

heran gak sebenarnye...setan arr nih..(suke hati je blame setan)

haih..lengkap dah islam ni atur hidup umat die..tapi gi langgar2..lawan fitrah..patutla sakit2 soul aku..bile roh dah sakit, jiwa pon sakit, patutla fizikal pon tak sehat..haih..

harusnya, aku besyukur jadi islam, tapi bile tgk lifestyle aku, tah2..org yang bukan islam pon lagi bagus, teratur, amalkan je hidup islam, tapi depa tak islam..kesian la pulak..

nak buek camano..

eh..ok, isyak dah berlalu 15 min yg lalu..aku nk smyg..jom..

kelana convoy

(29:20)

Day 1

Ahamdulillah, it was a great pleasure to be able to travel to european country which there were 6 of them altogether. During this 15 days trip, I've seen a lot of people, beautiful scenery, amazing architecture, leftovers... and so forth..

We departed from London and straight away to France, that was my first time being in an underwater tunnel. It was about 2 hours journey from dover, england to calais, france.

inside the tunnel..bawah laut..dgn bas skali naik train..masuk bwah laut..hehe

this is our bus..coach number 2..the most happening coach because we are all students inside this bus...n ade abag kahirul dalama bus ni...he never forgot to recite doa before we begin our jorney... bagus2..tour guide yg baik...

after that, on the first day itself we dropped by at the belgian chocolate factory in Belgium. well nothing much i could buy there because some of the chocolates contains alcohol. plus... it's expensive.. so..tgk je la..take pictures...then caus...

6 euros for a cute chocolate teddy, hehhe...beli coklat asda lagi bagus

well, that's all for first day i guess... tak byk pon, because we spend most of our time on the bus heading tu amsterdamse bos, in Amsterdam, Holland, which was our campsite..unlickily, it was raining and we had to build our tent in the rain...urgh...benci gile...

but okla..experience....

Day 2

Holland-Volendam and Amsterdam

Our first stop was cloggs and cheese factory. i bought a pair of cloggs, not for my own use but only for display, red in colour...hehe.. but i din shop very much because it was quite pricy and abg khairul said it's better to shop at the next stop, which was volendam.

and yes, i did my shopping in volendam, i bought some fridge magnets, tshirt, take pictures in dutch costume and almost spend aoroubd 50 euros in volendam alone... so..here some pictures..in volendam..

holland is known as negara kincir angin...windmill

in dutch costume

kat cloggs and cheese factory

and after that, we off to Amsterdam... they have red light district but unfortunately i dont have the chance to there because..hmm..tak sempat..it's time constrain..plus..we had to go back before dark, and the red light district only switch on the red light at night..so.. we din go there...

my tourist guide said, it was a street for sex hunters...hahaha...u can go and find for girls i dunno how much the price is, but the lady were behind glass wall, and if u do want to hire them, just knock on the door, she let u in, and the red light goes off...heheh...

kat blakang tu tulis I AMSTERDAM

with my friends

we were just in front of the entrance..tak masuk pun..4 euros nk tgk bnde gini..tak yah la...

interesting facts about amsterdam dadah is legal in this country, u may purchase drug such as ice baby, ecstasy and so forth easily in any shops, even at the restaurant, they served drink or meal with many drugs that u can choose which flavour that u demand...hmm..

as for the red light district, suddenly i remember my visit in jakarta, there were red light street too in jakarta. well maybe it is because of the dutch influence in indonesia as indon was invaded by dutch before. another fact is, many of the dutch people greet us in bahasa, but they speak in indonesia language, maybe they thought we are indonesian..haha...

one thing that capture my eyes about amsterdam is the house. i like the house and i'm planning to have my own dream house and inspired by the dutch houses.

now we leave holland, lets move on to our next destination which is, Germany

Day 3

Germany-Frankfurt

our first stop in Germany, was frankfurt, it's a modern city, fantastic architecture, for those who are studying architecture or engineering, frankfurt is the best destination for u to get some ideas.

well, we just dropped by for a while in frankfurt to take some pictures and buy some souvenirs. the stuff were quite expensive, so i din shop much. so i just get some postcards a shirt and fridge magnets. that's all.

in front of cathedral. dunno what it names..tapi cathedral la..

it was sunny on that day

this is euro sign

Day 4

Germany-Fussen

for the next day in germany, we were heading Fussen. in Fussen we had visited 2 castles which are Neuchwanstein castle and the other one i cant remember what it names because it's just weird, which one of them had inspired Mr Disney to build the castle for sleeping beauty.

neuchwanstein castle

me and the dayangs

another castle with the weird name

Day 5

Inssbruck, Austria

now lets move on to the next destination which is innbruck, Austria. it is a very beautiful place and it is a perfect spot for nature lover. i love austria because it has a very beutiful scenery and i enjoyed taking pictures until i'm tired of snapping, in the end i just capture all the moments and the sceneries using my own photographic mind.

love the view...

ya Allah..cantiknya...

again!!

after that, we headed to the town, and our first stop was swarovski shop, which is a crystal shop. it's a perfect spot for datins and mak cik2 yang suke kan perhiasan. u can get them for reasonable price and i manage to buy two pairs of ear rings, one for my own and one for my mother. After the swarovski shop, we strolled around the town, looking for souvenirs, as usual, postcards, shirt, fridge magnet, taking pictures and that's all.

that's crystal

inssbruck.

Day6.

Venice. Italy

Italy. people claimed that it is the most romantic place because the people are romantic. well i doubt that because, biase je aku tgk... but they are indeed beautiful people. they have perfect complexion tone, especially the ladies...but please watch with the pick pocket because it is a norm in public area. mind your belongings, always keep them safely.

gondola in venice

torres del pisa

venitian mask

colleseum in roma

Day 7

Florence, Italy

they are proud of those naked statues.. i don't know why..maybe they don't have any success to be displayed on.. i don't have much pictures in this place because, so many naked statues, they said it is art, for me, it is a stupid sculpture, they'd rather build recycle bin statue to promote recycle rather than displaying naked man all over places.

Day 8

Rome, Italy

this is the most historical places among those places that i had visited in Italy. i visited colleseum, spagna, the fontana, and many other historical building. it was sunny at first and late in the evening it was raining heavily and luckily i manage to visit all over the suggested place, but i forgot to buy roma postcard which disappoint me. well, maybe, i should come again..:P

Day 9

Pisa, Italy

what will people think of Pisa? of course, the leaning tower..it cost me 15 euros to be on the tower. it worth because it does senget.. i was scared like hell and there was no elevator to get on top of this bell tower, and i just had 30 minutes to be on the tower, and i amazed with myself because i could get on the tower using stairs, and it was in spiral, senget, slippery and tiring.

here some pictures...

Day 10

Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland

in day 10, we spend the whole day on the bus heading to Switzerland, it was a long journey and again such a perfect spot for nature lovers..:)

Day 11

Jungfrau mountain, Swiss Alps

thanks very much ya Allah for giving me chances to step and be on the swiss Alps which is the dream place for others . our journey started quite late around 12 o'clock, those who wanted to go to the top of the mountain, they have to pay 100 swiss franc (i pay 100) and those who just don't have that much money can pay 45 swiss franc and stop at the half of journey. the journey was by train, it took about 2 hours to get on top, and i mesmerised with the lush greenery scene beautiful scenic view, and i just love swiss. but it is a bad place to go shopping because everything is expensive :P

on the way to the top of europe..by train..

subhanallah...

swiss alps baby :P

<3

day 12

it is a long journey to paris. it takes the whole day, again i had backache.

day 13

Paris.

we spend the whole day in Paris. it is a big city, very busy, and we had communication problem with the locals because they just don't speak English. Bonjour...Merci...

hehe,,those are the words that i know..hehe.. i've been to eiffel tower, take pictures, notre dame, hmm.. kfc halal.. and museum de louvre... there are a lot of other attractions, it's just that, it was hot n sunny on that day, and since it was france, we are not thinking to rush, to put a lot effort to finish all the suggested places because i may come back next time. so, my friends and I just spent some time together, took pictures buy souvenirs, that's it

it's eiffel...!

tempat freemason..haha

Day 14

climax of the trip

Disneyland!!paris

this is unreal, full of fantasy and imagination.

i enjoyed the roller coasters, and all the rides. but i missed the show, i din find mickey or minnie mouse, i don have pictures with them, but i saw the parade..ok la.. at least...i could see the characters...overall i really enjoyed my day in Disneyland...

it's disneyland...

the best ride i could say

my favourite character among all the disney's beauties

it's SNOW WHITE...:))

day 15

balik...from calais to dover..this time by ferry not in the tunnel, and i miss weather in london..chilly..

well...that's the end of the journey...what do i get along this journey..that's the most important part... hmm..Allah give us rukhsah.. and yes..it is very useful..but, along the trip..we prayed very late all the time. alwayssss ta'khir...got some people neglect their prayer..main bantai je...kepala hotak kau..tapi okla..at least they stop for prayer, but still mcm terabai je...hmm..

bile lame sgt seronok, i fell worried a bit because..i dunno..suka manjang..ngaji pon tak...i din recite quran for the rest of days u noe, i din bring my qran, lecehla nk jaga, iphone? mati dah..tak hidup pon...nasik baik smayang...if not, i will entirely forget tuhan for the rest of 15 days...

adoi..suke2, galok2 laki pempuan tak yah cte arr...bodo...

overall, seronok..byk experience..tp tu arr.. there's certain yang u will lose..u will degrade within yourself..carefull la..suke sgt pon tak best...nasib baik tak mati eksiden ke...tecucuk pancang kemah ke..haha..

bye..

peace...

psst..salah2 grammar kat atas tu abaikan la..mane2 spelling error..paham2 sndri..aku ni typo..mls nk edit..pjg..nk bace balik tu. malas..

it's like trading...the profit is just awesome

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Mahukah kamu Aku tunjukkan satu perdagangan yang dapat menyelamatkan kamu dari azab yang pedih?

O you who believe! shall I lead to a merchandise which may save you from a painful chastisement?

yaitu, kamu beriman kepada Allah dan RasulNya, dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta dan jiwamu. Itulah yang lebih baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahui,

You shall believe in Allah and His Messenger and struggle hard in Allah's way with your property and your lives; that is better for you, if you know!

Nescaya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa kamudan memasukkan kamu ke dalam syurga yang mengalir di bawahnya; sungai-sungai dan ke tempat tinggal yang baik di dalam syurga 'Adn. Itulah kemenangan yang agung.

He will forgive you for your faults and cause you to enter into gardens, beneath which rivers flow and goodly dwelling in gardens of perpetuity' that is the mighty achievement.

(As-Saff: 10-12)

Astaghfirullah T_T

wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Mengapa kamu mengatakan sesuatu yang tidak kamu kerjakan?

O you who believe!why do you say that which you do not do?

Itu sangatlah dibenci Allah apabila kamu tidak mengerjakan sesuatu yang tidak kamu kerjakan.

It is most hateful to Allah that you should say that which you do not do.

(as-Saff: 2-3)

Maafkan saya

Maaf

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saya khilaf

saya ignorant

Rupanya terlalu banyak perkara yang saya buat

menjauhkan saya dari HidayahNya

menggelapkan hati saya

mematikan hati saya

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maaf sekali lagi

Buang saja

Buang semua jauh-jauh

Itu cuma gurauan, Indah tapi sia-sia

shuh...!

Ianya biodegradable...boleh lupus trus...

T_T (tak terkata)

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*terima kasih kepada saudari Dayah Fauzi yang share gambar ni kat FB..

Rasa mahu lekas ku tinggalkan dunia-khas untuk yang bernama Izzati

Have u ever felt want to be ' in a relationship'?

have u ever felt want to go shopping, shopping,shopping, till u paint the town red?

have u ever wonder if u were among the beauties? (at least considered as...)

Pernah tak rasa mau 'free hair'?

pernah tak rasa nak berfesyen dengan maaacam-maacam fesyen yang ada?

if u say no to all of them, u are LIAR!!!, it such a big lie to yourself, because it's within YOU sayang. All of these desires, world's desires is our FITRAH... we want to look good, want to be love by someone else, want to look pretty, nak tu, nak ni, nak macam2...furthermore kalau YOU tu perempuan..lagiiii la macam-macam nafsu yang memberontak lam jiwa.

I sat in front of my lap top, for some time, after browsing and usha my friend's pictures on facebook yang macam dah agak2 culture shock tuh, rasa best plak...

amik gamba ngan boyfriend...pakai baju cantik-cantik...free-hair..,boleh wat style rambut macam2...shopping barang2 branded sampi tahap tak ingat mati...owh seronoknye menjadi mereka...I wonder if I were like them...would that be the ultimate happiness in this life? is that the true happiness that human being is supposed to grab?

Arghh...i hate this feeling... benci tau tak...world is a prison...a total prison to me..a Muslim...tu tak boleh..ni tak boleh...sume tak boleh...

tak pakai tudung dosa

ada boyfriend takut terbuat maksiat

( I cannot trust myself on this, kalau aku ade bf mesti aku gatal, baik jangan!)

mekap lebih2 kang tabarruj la plak...

lawa sangat kang susah pulak...

baju pelik skit kang orang dah pandang...

belanja sana sini, tak tentu tentu hala, later kena tanya...

hadoi...bosey weh dunio...mau mati boleh tak??penat..aku penat ..i'm tired with all the restrictions...all the rules that i need to oblige..sumer lah..semuaaaaaaaaa.....

dunia memang penjara..it is a prison for Muslim...

hello,ingat aku tanak ke buat benda telarang tu sumer hah?tipu la kau kalau ko terdetik dalam hati...'ish3..ape la blogger nih, bykkan lagi baca quran..'

hei..bla la kau...ko ingat ko nabi...ma'sum?

(emo la plak...)

benda yang dilarang tu lah yang best...that's why i said..RASA MAHU LEKAS KU TINGGALKAN DUNIA. sebab..aku dah penat..aku nak hepi..

TETAPI..WAHAI IZZATI...

awak kene ingat...awak tu hidup punya tujuan..matlamat..dan baaaanyak lagi benda yang laagi penting dari keinginan2 kecil yang ko duk teringin nak buat tuh...

WAHAI IZZATI...

namamu itu sangat jelas maknanya..KEKUATANKU

DIA uji kamu dengan nama kamu itu..adakah kamu layak bergelar IZZATI

Kuatkah kamu melawan penyakit WAHN kamu tu?

dah sembuhkah?

atau makin melaratkah?

IZZATI...belajar sayang diri kamu...macam mana nak sayang?janganlah buat benda yang boleh menjahanamkan diri sendiri ye IZZATI ZULKIFLY...

apakah perkara jahanam tersebut?

jangan kamu tunduk pada bisikan2 ZALITUN...MURRAH..MASUUD....dan konco2 mereka..kerana mereka ini sangat menjahanamkan kehidupan kamu....

kamu harus sedar IZZATI..kamu punya tanggungjawab yang WAJIB dipikul sebagai seorang MUSLIM YANG BELAJAR

ingat ya..WAJIB..

duduk atas muka bumi ni kalau sesaje nak gi klas, study, makan, elaun masuk then shopping, bile azan sembahyang, pas maghrib mengaji...pas subuh and asar baca mathurat tak cukup IZZATI..

kamu punya tanggungjawab harus kamu pikul yang kelak bakal dipersoalkan...usahlah kamu2 runsing dengan nafsu2 duniawi yang kecil itu IZZATI...tak rugi apa pun...

so..while u have time..before u mati...buatla ape2 yang patut...kalau U nak happy in FUTURE..remember IZZATI...death is not the end of the world..it's the starting point...tapi nak masuk kat tempat starter tu..kene makesure la..bekalan cukup ye..jangan datang dengan tangan kosng..nanti orang lain happy2..duk BBQ..ko plak kene jadi bahan BBQ..amik kau..!

OK..ini kamu

ini lah yang sepatutnya kamu...pakai tudung..bersederhana...single :P...tak free hair..tak mekap2 lebih2...tutup aurat..INI KAMU. jihad ya IZZATI..lawan sikit nafsu kamu tuh...

well..ni nak sedapkan hati kau...tapi don't take it for granted..

"...Dia Mengetahui tentang kamu, sejak Dia menjadikan kamu dari tanah lalu ketika kamu masih janin dalam perut ibumu. Maka janganlah kamu menanggap dirimu suci. Dia mengetahui tentang orang yang bertakwa. "

(32:53)

Dia tau ko sape..Dia tau sampai tahap mana ko layak diuji..yang penting, tingkatkan amal, doa padaNya and jihad...

*dah gi buat keje, kecoh je..